To Be Mindful of Others
by Apjones428
Summary: Set post Into Darkness. The crew is getting ready to head out on their first 5 year mission but they have an unexpected addition to the crew. Counselor Carina has been assigned to the Enterprise to look after and help heal the mental wounds from Khan and Nero's attacks. But Bones is determine to break the ship counselor's hard exterior. Will her past be too much for him? For her?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Captain James T. Kirk slammed the PADD down in his ready room on board the U.S.S. Enterprise. Shaking his head, he turned his chair and looked out at the stars.

"Damn Admiralty Board…" he muttered. They were scheduled to leave for their five year mission yesterday but due to last minute changes and requests, they were currently delayed until the next day. And now Kirk was being forced to take on an additional bridge crew member.

As a five year mission had never been attempted before, and seeing as how the crew was still mentally recovering from their attacks with Khan, the Admiralty Board was requiring Kirk take on a ship counselor.

Reluctantly, Kirk didn't think it was that bad of an idea but didn't like the fact that the Admiralty Board just made the decision without consulting or even, hell, ASKING him for his opinion. Kirk thought of his crew as his family and it was also irking him that the Admiralty Board had already selected and commissioned the counselor, also without Kirk's opinion. So now an outsider was coming in to his crew at the 11th hour. She was due to beam aboard in an hour.

Sighing, Kirk hit the communication button on his panel. "Commander Spock. Would you join me in my ready room?"

"On my way, Captain."

About a minute later the computer beeped to alert Kirk that Commander Spock had arrived. Stepping into the room, Spock stood as straight as ever with his hands clasped behind his back. "Captain." Kirk smiled a little at Spock's rigid formality.

"Spock we are taking on one more bridge member. The Admiralty Board has placed a ship counselor with us for the duration of the five year mission to assist with crew morale, help with negotiations and to provide an outlet for mental stability for the crew."

Commander Spock nodded at the information and looked at his Captain. "You seem displeased with this information Captain. Considering the circumstances, it is logical to provide this resource for the crew."

"I'm not against the idea, Spock. I just wish I would've been told longer than five minutes ago. She'll be here in an hour. We need to assign her rooms, alert the crew to the addition, and then meet her in Transporter Room 2."

Spock nodded in the affirmative and moved to walk next to the Captain as he left his ready room. "I'll go tell Bones to expect another addition the medical crew as well if you'll help with the rooms and the announcement," Kirk asked Spock as the headed to the turbo lift.

"Captain, what is the counselor's name so I can alert the crew?"

"Counselor Carina Sela."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Kirk sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He was waiting in Transporter Room 2 for Commander Spock as well as the new addition, Counselor Sela. Bones, in typical fashion, had not taken the news of having an addition last second in his department (especially one that would be second-in-command essentially) in the best way. Kirk had left him muttering about Admiralty bullshit in the medical bay to meet up with Commander Spock.

Commander Spock entered the transporter room and stood next to the Captain with his hands behind his back. "The crew has been alerted to the presence of the new ship counselor and her rooms are ready, Captain."

"Excellent Spock. Now she just needs to get here so we can get on our way already."

At that moment the transporter pad lit up and the tell-tale white swirls began to materialize a young woman.

Carina blinked as the last of the transporter beams finished materializing her on board the U.S.S. Enterprise. She looked down at the two men her looked to be expecting her. One was a blond haired, blue-eyed man who she immediately recognized as Captain Kirk. The other was slightly taller with dark brown hair and the pointed ears of a Vulcan. So this was Commander Spock. She nodded at both men and stepped off the transporter pad. An ensign collected her small amount of luggage and informed her they would be in her rooms.

As she nodded at the ensign, Kirk noticed pointed ears poke out of Counselor Sela's dark wavy hair. The Admiralty Board sure as hell didn't mention they were sending a Vulcan on board to be the ship's counselor none the less. With a quick glance at Spock, Kirk raised his hand in the traditional Vulcan salute gesture and said "Live Long and Prosper."

With a quirk of what Kirk now noticed was not a pointed eyebrow but rather a normal human eyebrow, Counselor Sela turned to Kirk and Spock. "Captain Kirk that will not be necessary as I am not Vulcan." She raised her hand in a traditional human gesture for a handshake. "This will be sufficient."

Kirk lowered his hand and grasped hers, slightly embarrassed at his assumption now. "I apologize Counselor Sela. I assumed when I saw your ears that you were Vulcan."

"She is Romulan." Spock finally spoke up. He eyed the new ship's counselor in an inquisitive way.

"I prefer Counselor Carina if that is okay with you Captain," Carina responded to Kirk while glancing at the First Officer. "And Commander Spock is correct. I have Romulan heritage. However, in a similar sense of your First Officer, I am only half Romulan."

"Romulan? You are part of Starfleet?" Kirk was now uneasy with what the Admiralty Board had left out of his briefing earlier.

"Indeed Captain. I graduated with honors from the academy five years ago and have been stationed at Space Station 47 for the last three years providing assistance to ship crews who have been in battles. If you are questioning my allegiance, it lies with Starfleet and the Federation. I have no desire to flaunt my Romulan heritage nor return to Romulus." Looking each of the men in the eye with a directness she continued, "As you are the Captain and the First Officer I trust you will keep my Romulan heritage between yourselves as I know the history of this ship and its crew in recent years has not been friendly toward them. I am here to help Captain. Not hinder."

Kirk nodded. "I understand. Welcome aboard the Enterprise Counselor Carina."

The beeping of Spock's communicator had Kirk turning to look at his first officer. Spock flipped the Communicator open and Scotty's voice greeted them. "Commander Spock. Would you mind coming to Engineering?"

"On my way Mr. Scott." Spock closed the communicator and turned to take his leave of Kirk and Carina. Kirk nodded at Spock and turned back to Carina.

"Counselor Carina, shall I show you to your rooms and give you a quick tour?"

Carina gave Captain Kirk a small smile. "If you could show me to my rooms that would be wonderful but I have studied the layout of the Enterprise before arriving. I think I'll be able to find my way around. Thank you for the offer, Captain."

As they made their way out of the Transporter Room, Kirk decided to make the best out of the situation.

"You know, since you've requested a name change I think I will as well. As long as I'm not on the bridge and we aren't in a life or death situation I prefer to be called Jim or Kirk. Especially with my bridge officers." He turned and gave her a smile.

"So informal with your crew?" Kirk regretted his decision instantly. Of course! This woman was here to be mental support which meant she read in to everything going on.

Reading the look on his face (it was her job after all) she backtracked. "Captain...Jim. Unless you are in my office for an appointment or specifically search me out for advice, I hope I am not seen as a Starfleet psychologist. In the same sense you wish to be Jim or Kirk off the bridge and off-duty. I feel as if you were ambushed with my presence here, as I was with my reassignment, and I don't want to start off on the wrong foot-so to speak." She stopped near the end of the hallway at the turbolift and turned to her Captain. She gave him a small smile and looked at him expectantly.

Kirk stopped and looked at her as well. He hadn't really taken in her appearance yet besides the ears. She had dark brown wavy hair just bordering on curly. She was shorter, but not too short. Maybe about 5'6. She was athletically built and fit with a round face, full lips and dark brown eyes. It was her eyes that had Kirk stopping his evaluation however. While she couldn't have been more than 27, her eyes had that haunted look of seeing a thousand horrors. When she smiled, it didn't reach her eyes.

Kirk nodded at her and returned her small smile. "Counselor Carina, I think you'll fit in here just fine."

The turbolift opened and they stepped in. Kirk directed the lift to take them to the crew's deck. As the turbolift door opened, Bones was standing outside it.

"Ahh, Bones. Good I can formally introduce you two."

Kirk and Carina stepped out of the turbolift to a grumpy looking Bones. With posture as straight as Spock's, Carina turned to look at Bones with her hands behind her back. Bones turned to her as well and looked down at her with scowl.

"Counselor Carina, this is our CMO Dr. Leonard McCoy. Bones, this is Counselor Carina our new ship counselor."

Carina was the first to break the awkward silence that ensued. "Dr. McCoy." She held out a hand for a handshake. Bones glanced down at it.

"Counselor Carina." He took her hand and shook it but pulled his hand away almost as if shocked. Clearing his throat he glanced at Kirk then back to Carina. Kirk watched this interaction with a small smile on his face. "Counselor, you are expected in the medical bay tomorrow at 0800 for a full physical and then to report for duty," Bones said gruffly.

Carina looked at Bones for a second before nodding. "I understand Dr. McCoy." She turned to Kirk. "Captain?"

"Right. This way Counselor Carina." Kirk smiled at Bones, gave the man a slap on the shoulder and then led Carina down the hall to her rooms. Bones turned to look at the new ship counselor as she followed Kirk. He couldn't put his finger on it but there was something about Carina. He wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing.

As Kirk and Carina turned the corner at the end of the hallway, Carina glanced back. Dr. McCoy was still standing in front of the turbolift looking at them with a puzzled look.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Alright you are all ready to go. If Doctor McCoy needs to speak with you he'll be in touch." The nurse turned away putting away her scanner. Carina sat up from the biobed and moved to put her shoes back on.

She left the medical bay and turned right to head to her office. It was on the same floor since she was supposed to be working in tangent with Dr. McCoy. As she walked to her office, Carina thought of their encounter yesterday. It had been interesting. There was something about Dr. McCoy that intrigued her.

Carina punched in the code to her office and stepped in looking around. She had gotten her files and work settled yesterday, making the office feel a little more comfortable to her. Now she sat down at her desk and got to work familiarizing herself with the history of the ship and the crew.

Several hours later, Carina's communicator beeped at her with an incoming call.

"Counselor here."

"Carina, we are having a bridge officer's meeting at 1600 today to discuss our voyage before we leave the space station." Captain Kirk's voice greeted her.

"I'll see you at 1600 then Captain." Carina closed the communicator and went back to her work. A little before she was to leave for the meeting her door chimed at her with a visitor. Curiously, she looked up at it. She wasn't expecting anyone as she was sure not many were eager to use her services yet.

"Come in."

Dr. McCoy entered the office and looked around. He looked angry.

"What can I do for you Dr. McCoy?" Carina gestured to the chair in front of her desk. Instead, the doctor stood in front of her desk and looked down at her. She gazed up at him with her eyebrows raised.

"Counselor Carina, when were you planning on informing the crew that you are Romulan?"

Well at least he was direct about it, Carina thought. However, her eyes flashed at the doctor.

"Doctor McCoy," she said tersely. "While I understand you are privy to that information due to being the CMO and knowing the medical records of the crew, that information is not public. And to correct your assumption, I am _half_ Romulan. I have not lived on Romulus for a very long time nor do I wish to return." She glared at the Doctor.

McCoy looked back at Carina with furrowed brows. After a moment's hesitation, he sat down in the previously offered chair to look at her eye to eye.

"Look, Counselor. This crew has had a rough first couple of years and aren't too friendly toward the Romulan empire at all for refusing to help us in the Nero situation. I need to make sure you stay safe as well as looking after your physical health. That's part of my job."

"Doctor McCoy…" Carina started.

"We're both bridge officers and we are going to be working closely in the same department. Just call me Leonard, okay?" He looked at her and his eyes held a small truce in them. Carina looked at him, evaluating the situation.

"Leonard. I understand your concern and I am aware of the situations with the crew. Captain Kirk and Commander Spock are aware of my heritage as well. I'm sure the rest of the crew will eventually find out. It will be difficult to explain these," she gestured towards the tips of her ears poking out from her hair, "as I am clearly not Vulcan."

Bones looked at the woman in front of him. Although she was holding herself in a professional manner, she had a fierce look on her face, almost as if challenging him to say something else. She was beautiful. He sighed.

"Look, I went about this the wrong way. I'm just trying to look out for the well-being of the crew."

"Good. We have the same mission then. As the ship's counselor, the crew's well-being…"

"Honey, you don't have to explain it to me," Bones interrupted. "And I think our bridge crew meeting is about to start. We should probably head that way." Bones stood and waited by the door for Carina to join him.

Carina watched him stand and wait for her. She internally took a deep breath to calm the anger that had erupted in her at being called Romulan.

_You are half Romulan, Carina. Pull yourself together. You should know to expect this by now. _

She stood and walked out into the hallway with Bones following her. They walked in silence to the turbolift.

"Carina."

Bones jumped a little as Carina spoke to him.

"What?"

"You asked me to call you Leonard. Call me Carina, not Honey." She looked up at him.

"Fair enough." He nodded at her. For a brief moment they stood in silence looking at each other. Then the turbolift doors opened and she was on her way to the bridge conference room.

Bones looked after her taking in her purposeful stride and straight posture. She was everything this ship needed to help heal, he decided. But why were her eyes so sad?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Carina entered the bridge conference room and took in the group before her. Kirk was sitting at the head of the table with Commander Spock sitting to his right. Across from Commander Spock was Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott. Next to the Commander was Lieutenant Uhura, and Helmsman Sulu. Ensign Chekov was seated next to Mr. Scott. She recognized the crew from her files she had gathered before she came aboard.

Carina took a seat next to Chekov and Bones took the last seat next to Sulu.

Kirk nodded at the two of them. "Great let's get started. Tonight we start out on a five year mission. This length of mission has never been attempted before so we will be breaking into new exploration ground. We will begin by heading toward Trill and then start looking into the uncharted space outside of the Federation. We will not venture far before we know who or what we will encounter and will make several check in points with the nearest star bases to the border throughout our mission," Kirk paused for a second and looked around at his crew. "I, for one am very excited." Kirk's face split into a huge grin.

Carina looked down at her notes and tried to hold in the smile Kirk's boyish enthusiasm had caused. When she looked up, she saw Uhura smiling and shaking her head as well. Bones however was looking very grumpy at the prospect of uncharted space.

"Now, we have that portion of the meeting settled. The next portion of the meeting I'd like to address is our newcomer. As you heard on the announcement yesterday, we now have a ship counselor. This is Counselor Carina Sela." Kirk motioned to Carina. Recomposing her face into a professional but neutral expression, Carina nodded at the bridge officers. "The Counselor's job is to work in tandem with Dr. McCoy to ensure the well-being of the crew."

"Captain, I think it would be beneficial to the ship and the crew if I could have preliminary meetings with all the department heads to discuss expectations of the mission and my role to the crew," Carina spoke up. "This would allow me to get a better feel for how each department is ran and the crew itself." She waited for the expected negative response to this idea. She watched the panicked looks cross Mr. Scott and Mr. Sulu's face as well as the general uncomfortable looks from the rest of the bridge crew, with the exception of Commander Spock.

"I actually think that would be a good idea, Jim." Carina's head spun to Leonard. Bones was looking at the Captain giving him a small nod. Kirk looked at Bones and then to Spock for guidance. Spock gave a small nod as well.

"Alright, we will stagger the end of everyone's first shift once we leave the station so they can have a preliminary meeting with Counselor Carina." Kirk looked at Carina to make sure this worked for her. Carina nodded in affirmation.

"Alright then, if we have no further items to discuss…" Kirk paused and looked at his bridge officers who all shook their heads, "then let's get this show on the road."

The bridge officers all stood to make their way back to their stations. As Carina was gathering her files, she felt a tapping on her soldier. She turned to find Mr. Scott standing there with a smile on his face.

"Hello Counselor. Just thought I'd want to introduce myself first before any formal type of meeting. I'm Montgomery Scott. But most people call me Scotty." He held out a hand for her to shake.

"Mr. Scott, it is a pleasure to meet you. Your work on trans-warp theories has been fascinating to read. I look forward to working with you." Scotty grinned at Carina and gave her a pat on the shoulder before heading out the door so Sulu and Chekov could introduce themselves as well.

Bones stood off to the side watching the interactions of Carina. He was telling himself he was waiting to walk back with her to the medical bay area but he was enjoying just watching her. He could hear Scotty telling the Captain that he liked Carina already. Shaking his head he turned back to see Carina standing in front of him.

"Thank you Dr. McCoy for supporting my meeting idea. But you do realize that it goes for you as well." Carina looked up at him with a small smile on her face. Bones frowned. No he hadn't thought that through. Luckily he was saved from answering.

"Bones! Let Carina be on her way. I need to talk to you anyway." Kirk called from the bridge. Bones looked back at Carina but she was already on her way to the turbolift. She gave him another small smile as the doors shut.

"She's cute, right?" Kirk elbowed him.

"That's inappropriate Jim. What did you need?" Bones sighed and turned to Kirk.

"Nothing. But you're right. You shouldn't be staring at her like you were back there. Now go on and do some work." Jim winked at Bones.

Bones just shook his head and headed for the turbolift.

Carina stood and stretched in her office. She was going through the meeting schedule with the bridge officers. So far she had already seen Mr. Sulu and Mr. Chekov who both seemed to be bright and inquisitive Starfleet members. Although they had been in the thick of things with both the Nero and Khan situations, they seemed to be dealing with the stress and adjusting normally to their next mission. Commander Spock was next.

Carina sat back down in her chair and reviewed the Commander's personnel file. He had taught at the Academy while she was there but she had never taken his classes. He had been serving as First Officer on the Enterprise since her launch and….interesting…he was dating Lt. Uhura. Carina briefly wondered what that relationship was like between a Vulcan male and a strong-willed human female but was interrupted by the sound of someone at the door.

"Come in."

Commander Spock entered. She stood and gestured toward the chair across from her desk. Spock sat down opposite her.

"Commander Spock, I understand you were in command of the Enterprise when the situation with Khan came to a head and also when Captain Kirk was momentarily incapacitated." She started right in.

Commander Spock nodded. "Yes Counselor."

Carina paused and looked at the Commander. "Mr. Spock, I realize talking about the facts is not logical as they are what happened. But neither will it be comfortable for you to talk about your emotions during that time. Would you be in agreeance that instead we could talk about the decisions made by you and your reasoning to them?"

Commander Spock looked at Carina and then nodded.

"Good. Now, shall we begin?"

Spock's eyes locked with Carina's at her choice of words. They were the last words Khan had said to him as he threatened to take down the Enterprise.

"You see Mr. Spock. Vulcan's are in control of their emotions, yes. But your eyes give you away." She paused and looked at him with her head tilted. "I will not poke where I am not wanted. However, I do wish to extend a logical ear, so to speak, if you care to share anything with me."

Spock quirked an eyebrow at the Counselor. "I understand." Spock stood from his chair and turned to leave the office. He paused at the door. "And Counselor?" Carina looked up from her notes, surprised. "Although it is considered illogical in the Vulcan culture…Thank you." With that, Spock turned and left her office.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Carina decided to blow off some of the accumulated tension of acclimating to a new posting by going to the ship's gym for some exercise. The abrupt timing of her sudden reassignment had thrown a wrench in her plans. Her commitment to Starfleet had been made as a means to an end. The end just being surviving. Yet suddenly she was posted on the flagship of the Federation, traveling into unknown space. If only her mother could see her now.

Carina pushed that thought from her mind as she warmed up on the gym track. Jogging had always held a silent peace for her. It allowed her to center her mind and process the events from the day. Commander Spock's meeting had ended better than she anticipated. She was glad he had (in a very Vulcan way) accepted that she was here to offer help as it was needed. Tomorrow she would have meetings with Lt. Uhura, Dr. McCoy, and Captain Kirk. It would be a full day.

Pulling her long hair into a low ponytail to cover the tips of her ears, she moved toward the punching bag to get some strength training. She had just worked up a decent sweat when someone caught the bag and peered at her from the other side.

"Dr. McCoy. I wasn't expecting to see you here." Carina swiped her arm against her forehead.

"It's Leonard, remember?" Carina smiled at him.

"Sorry. Mind was elsewhere. Didn't think about it."

"Well I figured I'd rescue the poor bag since you were so thoroughly beating it." Carina nodded as she caught her breath.

"Right. Uh, I suppose I've been at this long enough. I probably ought to grab something to eat and head back to my quarters." She started unlacing her gloves and heading for her bag. Leonard fell into step beside her.

"Would you mind if I joined you? I haven't eaten yet either."

Carina looked at him. He was a handsome man. Tall and dark. But he didn't know anything about her. It was better that way.

"I was actually going to take dinner in my rooms. But we'll talk tomorrow." She threw the rest of her stuff into her bag and turned to leave. Leonard placed a hand on her arm. She froze.

"Carina. Everyone talks to the counselor. Who does the counselor talk to?" He looked at her. She looked back with wide eyes. Then she blinked and the professional mask was back in place.

"Goodnight Dr. McCoy." Carina turned and hurried out of the gym.

"_Run Carina!"_

_It was hot. Fire burned everywhere. Men were running. Carina was jostled to the side. She looked up into the eyes of her mother. _

"_Run Carina! Get away!" _

_A pair of arms snaked around her mother's waist and neck and pulled her into the fire. Carina couldn't run forward. She couldn't save her. She couldn't do anything. _

Carina sat up straight in bed. The sheets were soaked and she was breathing hard. Another nightmare. She put her head in her hands. She didn't know how to make them stop. She was a psychologist but damned if she was unable to stop her own nightmares.

Shaking her head, she looked at the clock and decided to get up to get ready for the day.

Later in the day Carina was summarizing her meetings with Lt Uhura and Captain Kirk. Both meetings had gone well. Uhura was professional and brilliant at her job as head of Communications. However, Carina had felt a distinctly negative vibe when Uhura had spoken with her, not enough to be confrontational, but just ….something, which was fine as long as the professional atmosphere remained. Captain Kirk on the other hand had been welcoming and even flirtatious with Carina, encouraging her to joke and reveal a bit more about herself as he in turn opened up to her. He also managed to convey his gratitude, respect and love for his crew, allowing Carina to see just how important they were to him.

In just a few minutes she would have her final meeting of the day with Dr. McCoy. She had to admit, she was a little nervous after their encounter in the ship's gym yesterday. But she would remain professional about it. As if on cue, the computer chimed to announce the arrival of a visitor. She pressed the button to let him in.

The doctor entered and took a seat across from her. She closed her files on the previous meetings before opening the one for Dr. McCoy.

"Hello, Leonard." She gave him a friendly smile. He didn't smile back at her but held her gaze. "I was hoping to start with some introductory questions." He nodded to show his agreement.

"Great. I see here that you are divorced and have a daughter back on Earth, named Joanna?" When again he nodded, she continued. "Tell me how you are doing with being separated from her for so long?"

"When you go through the divorce from hell, the best contact I can get is the occasional video chat with her about once a month. But she seems to be adjusting well. And it works out for me that she loves Starfleet which bugs the crap out of her mom."

"That doesn't answer my original question. How are you doing with it?"

"Look, Carina. Why don't we strike up a deal? You want to know about me; understand how I function. That's fine. But why don't you share a little about you at the same time?" He gave her a pointed look.

"That's not how this works normally. But I can work with it." When he leaned back and gave her a small smile she added, "to a point. Now, how are you doing with this mission? Captain Kirk said you might not be happy about it."

"Well of course I'm not happy about it. But this is the job. Now your turn. Why did you get reassigned to the Enterprise?"

"I'd been at that space station for a while. Starfleet thought it would be beneficial to place me on a ship. The Enterprise's timeframe fit with what they wanted. Leonard, what is the hardest part of your job? What bothers you the most?"

"That's two questions. Stupidity resulting from rash decisions. So much of what I deal with because of Jim. Why did you choose psychology?"

The banter had allowed Carina to relax. She had stopped taking notes and was mirroring Leonard's more relaxed posture.

"I was good at reading people. And people are fascinating…Now…"

"Nope, I still get one more question." She smiled as he caught that she was trying to push forward with her questions. "All right then."

"Why wouldn't you have dinner with me last night?"

The smile vanished from Carina's face. Leonard's expression seemed to reflect the change in her own as she seemed to age five years instantly. He shook his head and stood up.

"Carina. You don't have to answer because I won't push you. But listen to me when I say this. There is something about you that draws me in like a moth to light. And I haven't felt that in a very long time. But you are hiding something from yourself. And I don't think you should anymore. Let me know when you want to have dinner." With that Leonard stood, turning toward the door, then looked back at her. She was staring at him with wide eyes. "Goodnight Carina. Sleep well."

When the door shut behind Leonard, Carina put her head on her desk. How had he seen through her so quickly?


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

It had been a week since her meeting with Dr. McCoy and the atmosphere had become professional once again between them, which made things much more pleasant. She was still having the occasional nightmare but she wasn't letting it affect her duties. They were just about to cross over into uncharted space and officially start their mission. For once, things were going well. She'd even had a few of the ensigns comm. to set up appointments for counseling as they were recent graduates from the Academy, and they were apprehensive about going into uncharted space.

She was walking a borrowed PADD back to the medical bay a few days later when she was startled by light coming from Dr. McCoy's office. As she drew closer, he became visible behind his desk. The rest of the bay was darkened and quiet as there were no current injuries or sicknesses requiring any of the crew to be held overnight. A single desktop lamp was the only source of light. Carina quietly knocked on the door.

"Hey." He looked up at her, a single shot of bourbon sitting in front of him. He picked it up and started to swirl the liquid in the glass but he didn't drink it.

"Hey." His voice was gruff and low. He looked angry and upset at something. Carina leaned against the door frame and studied him.

"Everything okay?" He looked down at the bourbon in his glass again.

"I stopped drinking at the Academy. Cleaned up my act. But it doesn't matter." He set the glass down and stared at it. Carina understood what was going on.

"You had your last call with Joanna tonight." She sat down in the single chair in front of his desk. Since they were leaving Federation space, she knew that messages and video chats would be limited until they returned to Federation Space.

Leonard cleared his throat. "Yeah." He looked at her with sad eyes. "I barely got five minutes with her before her mom said it was time to go." He went back to looking at the bourbon. Carina looked down at it as well. Then back at Leonard.

"You know that she understands what you are doing. She knows you love her." She reached across the desk and put a hand on his, giving it a gentle squeeze before pulling it back. Leonard just nodded and continued staring at the bourbon. "If you stopped drinking at the Academy, how'd you get the bourbon?" she asked after a moment of silence.

"Replicator." She nodded. Suddenly her hand shot out across the desk and she picked up the glass of bourbon. Then she downed it in a single gulp. Leonard's head snapped up and stared at her. With a satisfying slap she put the glass back down on the desk. Wiping the corners of her mouth she gave him a look before walking to the computer access point in the wall.

"Computer. I am authorizing a restriction on the replication of any alcoholic beverage by Dr. Leonard McCoy. Authorization code Delta-Omega-Sela." The computer confirmed her restriction. She returned to her chair across from the stunned doctor.

"You do know if I wanted to override that I could."

"Not unless you get the Captain's permission," she responded. She gave him a small smile.

"Where'd you learn to drink like that? I know the replicated stuff isn't as good as back home but damn, it's good enough." He tilted his head to the side and returned her smile. She gave a half shrug.

"I'm half Romulan. You're going to need to give me something stronger than replicated bourbon to tickle my fancy."

Bones chuckled. "You really stress that half Romulan part, don't you?" He regretted his words the moment he said them. Her smile faltered a bit and her eyes became guarded.

"Yes. It is important to me." She looked down at her hands in her lap. She realized she was still holding the PADD she had meant to return. Handing them over silently, she watched as he turned and filed the PADD away. When he looked up again she was looking at his desk, apparently lost in thought.

"Carina. I hope you know that the Romulan part doesn't bother me. Nor will it bother the crew either. Hell, we have a half Vulcan as our first officer!" He leaned forward on his desk trying to express the sincerity in his statement. When she looked up, they locked eyes. And for the first time since he had met her, when she gave her small smile, it reached her eyes. But only briefly.

"It is not this crew I am worried about." Bones was confused at her statement. What other crew should she worry about? Before he could ask, she stood up. He followed her.

"Dr. McCoy, have you eaten yet?" He turned to look down at her. She was waiting for him to answer.

"No, I haven't."

"Would you care to join me for dinner?"

"Yes, I would."


	7. Chapter 7

Again-Thank you so much to **royalpinkdogs **for being a great Beta for me! And thank you to all the new followers and those reviewing :) Hopefully I am doing the characters justice!

Chapter 7

The first week into uncharted space was uneventful for the crew of the Enterprise. Leonard was fine with that. The less excitement they came across, the safer the crew was. In fact, things were going surprisingly well for him at the moment. Besides a few minor bumps and scrapes from a couple of ensigns that had gotten into a rather heated boxing match in the ship's gym, he had few patients. While Jim was always a handful, he had been manageable so far and they had even been able to return to something of their lives as friends rather than as Captain and CMO twice after their shifts since they had left the space station. And his professional and personal relationship with Carina was advancing. They worked well together. Her concern with the psychological health of the crew and his concern with their physical health overlapped in more ways than he would have expected meaning they worked together quite a bit more than he originally anticipated. Not that he was complaining. She was a fascinating woman. Although she still was very quiet about her life before Starfleet, he had learned quite a bit about her life since her enlistment. It turned out she too had joined because she didn't have anywhere else to go (why that was, she wouldn't say). She had excelled in her courses and had graduated top of her class. She was also trained to be a tactical officer as well. This was surprising to him as she preferred to be addressed as a counselor when in fact she was a Lieutenant. She had explained it as her heart was in psychology rather than a tactical position on the Bridge.

They had had dinner together at least three times in the last week; they would jog together on the track in the ship's gym whenever they met up there; he even had convinced her to watch a holovid with him in his quarters. He smiled a little to himself as he thought back to how they had started on opposite ends of his couch but by the end of the movie, she had stretched out her legs so her feet were tucked under his thigh. She had promptly left after the movie finished but it was a start.

He was on his way to her office when the alert came over the communication system.

"Counselor Sela report to the bridge." Frowning he reached Carina's office just as she stepped out. Seeing him standing there, she smiled.

"Hey Leonard. Sorry, going to have to reschedule lunch it seems like." She turned to head toward the turbolift. He followed her.

"I'll go with you to the bridge. See what's going on."

As they stepped out on to the bridge Carina could see a smaller ship floating around on the viewscreen. She recognized the markings on the side. Her stomach dropped.

Kirk turned to see his counselor and CMO walk in. He quirked an eyebrow at that but decided not to comment.

"Counselor, we came upon this abandoned ship and wanted to know your thoughts on it. Do you recognize it?"

"It's Romulan." Leonard turned to look at Carina. She was staring straight ahead at the ship, although he wasn't sure that was what she was seeing.

Carina snapped out of her thoughts and brought her attention back to her Captain. "It looks like an old trade ship."

"What do you think it's doing out here?" Kirk asked her.

"I don't know, Captain. It's definitely at least 20 years old. This was the type of ship that was prevalent on Romulus before I left there at age 10." Leonard was shocked she had so freely given that information as it had been like pulling teeth to get her to open up to him at all.

Kirk nodded at Carina's assessment. "Scans aren't showing any life signs. Let's assemble an away team to beam over to the ship and check it out. Counselor, I'd like you on the team since you have more intimate knowledge of how Romulan ships may operate. Plus you have tactical experience, right?" She nodded. "Great. Commander Spock and the doctor will accompany you. The three of you will be able to analyze the situation and possibly provide us with some answers."

Carina nodded at the Captain and turned toward the turbolift in a trance. She was going back on to a Romulan ship. She hadn't been on a Romulan ship since she had escaped from her personal hell on Romulus. It wasn't until they were about to beam over that she returned to reality and paid attention. Spock and Leonard were on either side of her on the transport pad. As the white beams began to encase her body, Carina took a deep breath.

Then she appeared on the Romulan ship. It looked deserted. She looked around and took in the general derelict look of the ship. Nobody had been aboard in a very long time.

"Counselor. Do you know how to start up the systems on the ship?" Spock had turned to her and was indicating a control panel in front of him.

"I can try." She walked over to the panel and started pressing buttons to see if she could get the system to respond. While the engines wouldn't fire, she was able to pull some crew and tactical information that was stored in the system. Spock took over for her from there, uploading some of the information into a PADD he had brought with him. Carina decided to explore the cargo bay of the ship to see what it had been transporting. Not wanting her to be by herself, Leonard went with her.

The cargo bay was filled with large shipping trunks of Romulan exports. There was even one devoted entirely to Romulan Ale. Leonard shook his head and closed the trunk wondering how they would keep that locked up from some of the Enterprise crew. When he turned around, Carina was no longer beside him.

"Carina?" he called out. There was no answer. He started looking around for her, worried at her sudden disappearance. He found her kneeling down in front of an air grate in the wall of the cargo bay. She looked a million miles away. He knelt down next to her and placed a hand gently on her arm. She jumped and turned to look at him.

"I was just double checking it to see if there were any crew members inside. Maybe doing repairs or something when….whatever happened to them happened." She turned back to look at the vent again. "It's empty."

Leonard continued watching her with a concerned look. Her eyes had looked so sad when she'd turned to him. She was remembering something not particularly pleasant.

"Have you been on a ship like this before?" Leonard knew he was prying but he couldn't get the image of her eyes out of his head.

"Yes."

"Did you hide in an air grate?" He pushed his luck.

She turned back to look at him. Thoughtfully, she looked down at his hand, which was still on her arm. As she looked back up, she opened her mouth to respond. Her communicator went off, making them both jump.

"Counselor and Doctor. Have you found anything?" Spock's voice rang out as she opened it.

Clearing her throat and standing up, Carina answered, "Looks like their cargo haul is still in here. Not sure what everything contains yet but it might be good to transport it back to the Enterprise. No crew members have been found. It is as if they vanished on route to wherever they were going."

"Very well. I have finished with the ship's systems. We should beam back to the Enterprise."

"On our way."

That evening, Carina was finishing up her report on the trip to the Romulan ship for the Captain in her quarters when the computer chimed she had a visitor. Putting her PADD to the side, she turned to the door as Leonard entered. She smiled at him.

"Hey. I wasn't expecting you."

"I thought you might want some dinner." She noticed he was carrying some containers of something that smelled delicious. "Plus we missed having lunch together today."

"Yea. We did." He set the containers down on her table and opened them. They contained a combination of some grilled shrimp, fried chicken and grilled vegetables. Carina hadn't realized how hungry she was.

"This looks fantastic. Thank you Leonard." She smiled again at him. He smiled back at her.

"It's some of my favorite food from back home." They dug into the food in front of them while enjoying a comfortable silence. When Carina had finished she sat back and placed her hands on her belly.

"That was amazing. I'll have to remember to ask for grilled shrimp and fried chicken more often."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." She had turned and was sitting perpendicular to him on the couch so he pulled one of her feet into his lap and began to rub it. She tensed at first at the sudden touching but began to relax when he started rubbing.

"Mmm." She closed her eyes and tilted her head back. He watched her silently. The cares of the day that had been written across her face when he had walked in melted away. She looked younger and happier. He knew he was going to spoil the moment but it had been eating at him the whole day.

"You were going to say something in the cargo bay before we came back to the Enterprise." She opened her eyes and looked at him. He pulled her other foot to his lap and started rubbing that one.

"Leonard…" Her eyes were guarded again. She sighed and looked down at her hands. "I left Romulus when I was ten on a trade ship identical to the one we found today. I wasn't a passenger. I hid in an air grate. It took me a year but I managed to barter my way to Earth where I survived until I could apply for Starfleet." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she looked up at Leonard.

He had stopped rubbing her foot when she had started talking. When she looked up at him he just shook his head and lowered it. She tilted her head, confused at his reaction. She had expected pity or an apology or…something. But all she had seen was sadness in his eyes.

Pulling her foot from his lap, she leaned forward and touched his arm. "Leonard? Please don't tell anyone." He opened his eyes and turned to look at her. Shaking his head, he put his hand on top of hers.

"I would never. Thank you, Carina." She gave him a small smile and leaned her forehead against his. She closed her eyes and relaxed again.

Leonard couldn't believe she had opened up to him. It wasn't the whole story but it was a helluva lot more than he had known this morning. They were sitting very close now. He could smell her shampoo and felt the softness of her skin against his. Reaching up he ran the back of his hand against her cheek. Her skin was so incredibly soft. Her eyes opened and met his. Then he leaned in and gently kissed her.


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry for the delay everyone! It appears I have lost my Beta. So, if this chapter is a little rough, I apologize. As always, no copyright infringement is intended. Carina is mine.

Chapter 8

Leonard's lips were soft on hers. She hadn't been kissed in a very long time and never in such a gentle way. It was wonderful. It caused something to stir in her that she'd never felt before. She couldn't describe what was happening but she hoped it didn't go away. She deepened the kiss and opened her mouth to suck in his bottom lip. He groaned and his other hand came up to cup her cheek. Suddenly Leonard sat back. She looked at him confused.

"That…was wonderful, Carina. But if I don't stop now…I won't be able to." He looked at her with almost black eyes. He had to resist looking at her lips since all he wanted was to go back to what they had been doing. She smiled at him.

Carina hadn't realized Leonard could look so sexy while struggling internally with himself.

"Okay." She sat back to lean against the arm of the couch. Her PADD caught her eye with her report still open on it. "I actually do have a report to finish up for the Captain on today." He nodded and reached for her hand.

"I'll see you tomorrow then?" He smiled when she nodded. "Okay." He stood and picked up the containers. He turned and dropped them in the garbage chute and then headed to the door. Carina followed him there. Standing on her tip-toes, she reached up and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. His arms wrapped around her as his tongue slipped out to lick at her lips. She opened her mouth to his and suddenly found herself pressed between him and the wall. He growled as she sucked his lip into her mouth again. Pulling away from her mouth, he started placing feverish kisses down her neck.

Breathing hard, Carina managed to croak out, "Leonard…" He came back up to her mouth and gave her one last chaste kiss.

Leaning his forehead against hers, he sighed. "I need to go. Now." But he still didn't move. She looked up and saw his eyes were closed. Suddenly he kissed her forehead and walked out the door. He turned back to see her standing just inside of it. "Goodnight Counselor." She smiled at him.

"Goodnight, Doctor." The door closed between them.

The Enterprise crew worked hard over the next day transferring the cargo from the Romulan trade ship. As the ship itself was old and there were no crew members aboard, they decided to leave the actual ship where it was after transmitting its location to Starfleet. Carina helped document some of the more peculiar Romulan items. But it seemed as if it had just been a normal trade ship. She couldn't help but wonder what happened to the crew. After a single day, the Enterprise continued on her journey.

It had been an odd couple of days. To clear her head, Carina headed for the track. It was pretty late so there weren't very many other crew members in there with her. She had the track to herself. Starting her jog, she thought about the abandoned ship. There had to be a logical explanation for what had happened to the crew. They wouldn't have just disappeared. It just didn't make any sense.

Her thoughts turned to Leonard. Leonard wasn't logical either. But he was very handsome. She smiled a little to herself thinking of the night before. He was also a very good kisser.

Finishing up her jog, she grabbed her towel and wiped her face down before heading back to her rooms. She dropped her stuff on the couch and stripped off her tank. She must've been running harder than she thought; she was drenched in sweat. Her door chimed just as she turned to head for the bathroom and Leonard stepped in. He froze as he saw her standing only in black capris and a sports bra.

Leonard hadn't realized how fit Carina actually was. She was not stick skinny by any means, but she was toned. Currently, he couldn't help but notice how her stomach muscles shifted as she turned to look at him. It didn't help that she was practically glistening with sweat too. He swallowed.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to barge in on you." He forced himself to look her in the face. She couldn't help but notice he looked pained.

"Uh, I was just going to shower real quickly. Can you hang out for a minute?" When he nodded, she turned back toward the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Leonard walked over to the couch and sat down, trying not to think about Carina getting naked in the next room over. _Dammit man, you're a doctor. You see people's bodies all the time. Calm down!_ Leonard heard the shower turn off. He ran his hands over his face and sat back on the cushions. He shook his head. Carina Sela had him hooked.

The bathroom door opened and she stepped out wearing her off-duty casual clothes; a pair of dark jeans and a ruby red V-neck sweater. Leonard thought she might look even more attractive than before. She even had her wavy hair pulled back in a high but simple ponytail. It was the first time he had seen her openly let her ears show. He stood up from the couch and walked over to her.

"I haven't seen you wear your hair up like that before." He motioned to her ears. Reaching up she touched the tips of her ears self-consciously.

"I don't normally flaunt them. People…" Leonard reached up and touched the tip of her other ear.

"I like it. You look beautiful." Carina looked up at Leonard with wide eyes.

"Really?" He smiled at her and gave her a light kiss in response. She quickly closed the gap between them and wrapped her arms around his waist. The kiss deepened and his hands cupped her face.

Carina's stomach growled. Smiling against her mouth, Leonard gave her a final small kiss.

"Hungry?"

"Apparently. Do you want to eat in the cafeteria tonight?" He nodded and they headed to the mess hall.

It was a comfortable dinner. Since it was later, there were only a few others in the cafeteria at the same time. They took a corner table and Leonard spent most of the meal telling her about his childhood in Georgia and all the stupid stuff he used to do as a teenager. She was laughing at a particular story involving his drunk 16-year-old self and attempting to ride a hover bike when Commander Spock approached them.

"Counselor. Please pardon the interruption." Spock gave a quick nod to Leonard and turned back to Carina.

Leonard liked Spock well enough. But he couldn't help but feel a spike of anger at the Vulcan for interrupting his evening with Carina. It was the first time he had really gotten her to laugh, and it was a beautiful sound. He fully intended to keep it going as long as he could. Carina smiled at him before turning to look up at Spock.

"Commander. What can I do for you?"

"I was inquiring as to whether you had any available appointments tomorrow, Counselor." Carina tilted her head to the side as she regarded Spock.

"Of course. Would 1600 work for you?" She was curious what the Commander would want to speak with her about. It was not every day a Vulcan wanted to set aside time to speak with her.

"That would be amenable. Good evening Counselor. Doctor." Spock nodded his head at the two of them and left the mess hall. Carina turned back to Leonard with her eyebrows raised.

"Hmm…Interesting. What were you saying about the hover bike?" Leonard's brows were furrowed. He shook his head.

"Nothing. Just that it ended in disaster." He gave her a small smile. "I'm actually kind of tired, actually." He began to collect their dishes and then stood to take them to the bin. Carina sat there confused for a second and turned to watch Leonard.

"Okay?" Leonard returned to the table as Carina stood. They walked in silence back to her quarters. An ensign was passing by when they reached her door. "I will see you tomorrow then, Doctor." She looked up at him as the ensign walked by.

"Yes." Leonard turned his head and watched the ensign turn the corner at the end of the hall. Then he turned back to Carina and pushed her up against her door, kissing her. Knowing someone else could come by at any moment, he kept the kiss brief. "Good night, Counselor."

She looked up at him with dark eyes and a smirk lying on her lips.

Carina was just pulling out Commander Spock's file when her door chimed to announce a visitor. She pressed the button to open the door and the Commander walked in.

"Mister Spock. Please have a seat." She motioned to the chair in front of her desk. Spock looked at the chair before motioning to more intimate chair setup she had on the other side of her office.

"Would it be amenable if we held our meeting over here, Counselor?" Carina raised in her eyebrows in surprise. She normally left that setup for more intimate conversations when emotional matters were being discussed. She thought the Commander would be more comfortable at her desk.

"Of course." She set down Spock's file and followed him over to the more comfortable chairs. Settling herself in, she placed her hands in her lap and faced him. "Was there something in particular you wanted to discuss, Commander?"

Spock paused for a moment. Carina studied his face. He seemed to be conflicted about something as he was furrowing his brows just ever so slightly. Looking back up at her, he regarded her for a moment.

"Your meetings are confidential, Counselor?" She nodded.

"The same rules apply to me with patient doctor confidentiality as they do with Dr. McCoy."

He nodded. "I was in command of the Enterprise when I became emotionally compromised during the Nero attack. I had just witnessed the death of my mother. And again, I was in command when Khan attempted to destroy Starfleet. I witnessed the death of the Captain." Spock paused again. He was looking at a point just past her head when he relayed this information. Carina believed he was reliving the experiences. His eyes caught hers.

"It is difficult for me to explain how…" He trailed off. Although his face remained passive, his eyes seemed to convey a desperate need to speak with her.

"Vulcan's are touch telepaths, are they not?" He nodded at her question. She held out one hand between the two chairs. "Would this be easier?" Spock glanced down at her hand and then back up at her.

"I am not sure that I will be able to control all I wish to convey." Carina regarded the Commander.

"Touch telepathy isn't as strong as a mind meld. And, I am half Romulan. While the human mind is quite resilient, I have no doubt that my heritage will protect me from becoming overwhelmed." She turned her hand palm up as a silent offering. Spock nodded and reached one hand out, placing the tips of his fingers to her palm.

Instantly, she was sitting in a swirl of emotions. Guilt at his mother's death; Anger at the vulnerability Khan had showed within Starfleet; Love for Lt. Uhura; and Trepidation even for asking for her help. She could sense that Spock was trying to show her something. She closed her eyes and a memory opened up before her.

_It was as if she was seeing everything through someone else's eyes. In fact, she believed she was seeing through the Commander's eyes as it was his memory. Lt. Uhura was sitting in a chair before him in what she was assuming was Spock's quarters. The atmosphere was tense. Uhura stood up and came to stand in front of him. She placed her hands on his shoulders. _

"_Spock, please talk to me. You can let it go." _

_She stared desperately into Spock's eyes. Carina felt an urge to pour out her heart to Uhura. It was Spock's urge. He wanted to tell her everything that was going on inside him. But…he couldn't. _

_Uhura sighed in frustration and walked out. He watched her go feeling helpless._

Carina opened her eyes to her office. Spock was no longer touching her hand. She pulled her hand back and looked over to see him watching her. She sat back in her chair.

"Spock?"

"Can you help me?"

His question surprised her. It wasn't often that a Vulcan asked for help. She believed he was suffering from survivor's guilt as well as a touch of post-traumatic stress disorder.

"Yes." She paused, taking in the slight sag of his shoulders at her reply. "But I think that is enough for today." She stood and Spock followed her lead. Spock's communicator beeped. He flipped it open.

"Spock. Report to the Bridge." Kirk's voice greeted him.

"Yes Captain."

"Bring Counselor Sela with you. We may need her." Spock closed the communicator. Carina frowned and nodded at the Commander. Together they left her office and headed for the turbolift. Spock told the computer their destination. Glancing sideways at the Counselor, he took in her professional demeanor. He was grateful for it.

"Counselor, Thank you." Surprised for the second time that day by the Vulcan, Carina turned to look at him.

"Of course, Commander."

The red alert lights and sirens came on just as the turbolift reached the Bridge. Carina had enough time to lock eyes with Leonard when the doors opened before the Enterprise was hit and she tumbled to the ground with the Commander.


End file.
